Baby Siblings

There was twins born - girl and boy. A girl was very weak and dying. Both twins were separated and lying in two different incubators, however one day a nurse broke the protocol and put twins together. The moment a brother was laid by his sister's side, he hugged her and within hours her heart beat stabilised and health improved. Eventually she was strong enough to live again.

Are we adult extend such supports to our siblings, family members or friends when needed?

活著就是王道- 于娟

于娟，女，32歲，
祖籍山東濟寧，海歸，博士，
復旦大學優秀青年教師，
一個兩歲孩子的母親。

2010年1月2日
于娟被進一步確診乳腺癌晚期。
隨後逐漸轉移到全身軀幹骨。
在健康狀況稍好的時候，
她把自己患癌症前的生活寫成日記，
取“活著就是王道”。

4月19日淩晨3時，
與癌症抗擊到最後一刻的于娟離開了人世。
享年32歲。

4月19日淩晨3時，
與癌症抗擊到最後一刻的于娟離開了人世。
享年32歲。

於娟雖然走了，
但她的遺著—“此生未完成”，
成了最真摯的勸誡。
她激勵人們熱愛生活，
因為，活著就是王道。



于娟在書中寫道：
在生死臨界點的時候，你會發現，
任何的加班，給自己太多的壓力，買房買車的需求，這些都是浮雲，

如果有時間，好好陪陪你的孩子，
把買車的錢給父母親買雙鞋子，
不要拼命去換什麼大房子，和相愛的人在一起，
蝸居也溫暖。


“人生最痛苦的事有三種：
 幼年喪母，中年喪妻，晚年喪子，
 如果我走了，我的父母、丈夫還有孩子，就會面臨這些痛苦，
 所以我要堅強地活下去。”于娟說。


“我曾經以為，我是一個平凡得不能再平凡的女子，
 我的家庭是平凡得不能再平凡的家庭。
 爸媽沒有多少文化，勤勞質樸做個本分人是他們的終極幸福。
 老公出身蒲柳，和我一個版本也是苦學改變命運的教書匠。”


“對於這種近乎平庸的平凡我已習以為常，
 三餐一宿，衣食無憂，想房想錢想課題，
 我和光頭一如小說裏所有的夫妻那樣平淡愛世俗，

 我從來沒有想到，
 碌碌庸庸的家人們深藏在無盡歲月裏的，
 居然是如此強大的內心。”

我蠻希望很多人能夠看到我的悲劇，
然後去更改他們的，
走向悲劇的這樣一個方向，
重新去審視健康，
重新去正視真正的生活是什麼。
如果是我寫下來的這個東西，
哪怕是讓一個人看到以後有所反思，
改變他們的生活習慣或者工作習慣，
從而不再受我這種罪的話，
我覺得也蠻值的。

我跟很多人很像，我跟很多年輕人太像了。
我們都沒有背景，然後我們都靠的是知識改變命運，
然後我們讀了二十幾年書，十幾年書，
爬上來以後發現上面有四個老的要養，下面有個孩子要養。
你會要拼命地想去賺錢。大家心裏其實都蠻苦的。

我曾經試圖像圓圓三年搞定兩個學位一樣，
三年半同時搞定一個挪威碩士、一個復旦博士學位。
然而博士始終並不是碩士，我拼命日夜兼程，
最終沒有完成給自己設定的目標，自己惱怒得要死。
現在想想就是拼命拼得累死，到頭來趕來趕去也只是早一年畢業。
可是，地球上哪個人會在乎我早一年還是晚一年博士畢業呢？

我曾經試圖做個優秀的女學者，但我有時會對中國的教育體制感到很失落。
為了一個不知道是不是自己人生目標的事情撲了命上去拼，
不能不說是一個傻子幹得傻事。
得了病我才知道，人應該把快樂建立在可持續的長久人生目標上，
而不應該只是去看短暫的名利權情。

癌症是我人生的分水嶺。別人看來我人生盡毀。
其實，我很奇怪為什麼反而癌症這半年，除卻病痛，自己居然如此容易快樂。
我不是高僧，若不是這病患，自然放不下塵世。
這場癌症卻讓我不得不放下一切。如此一來，索性簡單了，
索性真的很容易快樂。名利權情，沒有一樣不辛苦，卻沒有一樣可以帶去

今年三月，當于娟的網路日記已經獲得了
數百萬點擊的時候，她接受了一次電視採訪，
此時距離她去世已經不足兩月。
曾經意氣風發的海歸女博士，鉛華盡洗。
家裏為給她治病，甚至賣掉了房子，
全家人租住在一套面積不大的舊樓房裏，
真正的蝸居也溫暖。

我以前就是想讓自己的父母過得好一點，
想讓孩子有一個好的教育，
想換一所大點的房子，
想過得稍微舒服一點，
但是後來病了以後你會發現，
其實他們的快樂也不是說，
他們是不是能住大房子，
也不是說他們是不是
能到一個全球最好的早教中心去
或者怎樣，
而是說，是不是你是好好的。

生不如死，九死一生，
死裏逃生，死死生生之後，
我突然覺得，一生輕鬆。

不想去控制大局小局，
不想去多管閒事淡事，
我不再有對手，不再有敵人，
我也不再關心誰比誰強，
課題也好、任務也罷暫且放著。

世間的一切，
隔岸看花、風淡雲清。

“光頭”,于娟的丈夫，
由於于娟生前博客的影響力，
他的別名比他的本名
趙斌元”來得知名得多，
這位上海交通大學
材料科學與工程學院的副教授，
在昨天簽售現場一直不停地說著感謝，感謝，感謝……

他說這本書是于娟生命的延續，
這本特殊的書也讓于娟
永遠活在我們心中。

“我們互為初戀，
 讓初戀成熟為婚姻，
 執子之手，與子偕老，
 是多麼美好的一條人生道路，
 還有什麼不可以包容。”

生病之前的30年，
于娟的生活高歌猛進--讀書，考研、讀博、留學，
她像一隻趕路的鳥兒，忙著去追趕一個又一個目標，
直到有一天被命運掐著脖子按在塵土裏。
 生命的最後幾個月，於娟的博客開始受到成千上萬人的關注。
儘管在網路時代，類似的生命日記並不罕見，
但這個讀了二十幾年書，研修了社會學經濟學等等學科的才情女子
嘔心瀝血的話，還是令許多人震動、深思。

于娟身後的世界，似乎一切如常，
兒子土豆，偶爾會在遊戲的間隙問大人：
媽媽哪去了？
或者流連在媽媽生前住過的小房間。
有一天，他會知道媽媽今天寫下的文字。
那些文字，
正是為了他，和所有有將來的人而寫。

 白岩松：
人生是條單行道，一路向前，從來沒法回頭。
然而，現如今的中國很多人為名忙，為利忙，
常常忘了或者顧不上生命的意義跟價值。
也許于娟的故事會讓有些人停一停、想一想，
可是一定沒多長時間，一切都會照舊的。
是嗎？會這樣嗎？

網友說：
天堂裏沒有病痛的折磨，在天堂裏你會變成守護天使，
繼續守護著你的父母、心愛的小土豆跟光頭。

．河從何處流、仍歸還何處．

日頭出來、日頭落下、急歸所出之地。風往南颳、又向北轉、不住的旋轉、而且返回轉行原道。
江河都往海裏流、海卻不滿．江河從何處流、仍歸還何處．

Butterfly and Cocoon

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared; he sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could go no farther.

Then the man decided to help the butterfly, so he took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time. Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.

What this man in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were nature's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

Moral of the Story:

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If nature allowed us to go through our life without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. And we could never fly...

李嘉誠先生的哲學：做事必須搞清10個順序

Understand the key of life

What is the purpose of life? This was a question that I was asking myself during my childhood.

While I am still trying to comprehend the purpose of life, I always remind myself that I must keep myself happy and treasure every moment.

Well, while we know that the key of life is happiness, let's not forget the purpose of life.

At this stage, I believe the purpose of my life is to feed the family, educate my children, taking care of my spouse and parents, do charity and influence others to be good.

Nice quote from John Lennon.

HSE alert for car riders

Now this is very interesting! My car's manual says to roll down the windows to let out all the hot air before turning on the A/C. WHY?

No wonder more folks are dying from cancer than ever before. We wonder where this stuff comes from but here is an example that explains a lot of the cancer causing incidents.

Many people are in their cars the first thing in the morning; and the last thing at night, 7 days a week.

As I read this, it makes me feel guilty and ill. Please pass this on to as many people as possible. Guess it’s not too late to make some changes.

Car A/C (Air Conditioning) MUST READ!

Please do NOT turn on A/C as soon as you enter the car.

Open the windows after you enter your car, and then turn ON the AC after a couple of minutes.

Here's why: According to research, the car's dashboard, seats, a/c ducts in fact ALL of the plastic objects in your vehicle, emit Benzene, a Cancer causing toxin; A BIG CARCINOGEN. Take the time to observe the smell of heated plastic in your car, when you open it, and BEFORE you start it up.

In addition to causing cancer, Benzene poisons your bones, causes anemia and reduces white blood cells. Prolonged exposure will cause Leukemia and increases the risk of some cancers. It can also cause miscarriages in pregnant females.

Acceptable Benzene level indoors is: 50mg per sq.ft.

A car parked indoors, with windows closed, will contain 400‐800 mg of Benzene.

If parked outdoors, under the sun, at a temperature above 60 degrees F, the Benzene level goes up to 2000‐4000 mg, 40 times the acceptable level.

People, who get into the car, keeping the windows closed, will inevitably inhale, in quick succession, excessive amounts of the BENZENE toxin.

Benzene is a toxin that affects your kidneys and liver. What's worse, it is extremely difficult for your body to expel this toxic stuff from your body.

So friends, please open the windows and door of your car ‐ give it some time for the interior to air out (dispel the deadly stuff) ‐ before you enter the vehicle.

Thought: 'When someone shares something of value with you and you benefit from it, you have a moral obligation to share it with others.'

Donation to the unfortunate newborns

On 22nd April 2012, The Nanyang Press (Chinese newspaper) published a charity drive at the back page of the Selangor news section.

Two unfortunate newborns are found to have complicated heart diseases and urgently need fund for immediate surgery operations. As a father of two, I can understand the emotional feelings of the victims family. What I can do is making a donation and spread this news via my blogs.

Please see details below. Readers who want to contribute can print out the form (at second picture).

Kindly spread this news out and hopefully the fund is available in time to save their life.

Latest Phone Scam

There are more and more scams happening everyday in Malaysia. They are getting smarter in plotting the scam story line that sounds so real where anyone of us may fall into these traps. Below is one of the example from anonymous for sharing. Read on and beware!

1. I received a call from a Malay lady, number shown on my mobile phone: +25013169.
2. This lady spoke in Malay, informed that she is from POS Malaysia.
3. She read out my name and IC number, then informed that there were 2 high court letters addressed to me but could not be delivered.
4. She will fax the letters to a police station, and will request personnel from the police station to contact me later.
5. She gave a reference no. for the letter: 49951, and asked me to check with the police personnel who will call later, to ensure that they are the correct person acting on the correct letters.
6. 10 minutes later I received a call from one lady, identified herself as Madam Cheah, spoke in Malay, saying from Bukit Aman Police HQ.
7. Number shown on my mobile phone: +60322662222.
8. I know this is a scam, so I purposely spoke rudely to her (asked her to speak louder etc.) She got angry, said that if I don't believe her, to call back the number to verify, then hung up.
9. I did a search through internet, confirmed that the number +60322662222 is indeed from Bukit Aman HQ.
10. Instead of using my mobile phone to call back, I used Skype to call the number. A Malay lady picked up the call and I checked with her whether this is Bukit Aman, she replied yes, then I hung up. 
11. Quickly I ran through a few postings in the internet on such scams.
12. In between, they called again and left "missed" calls.
13. From postings in the internet, apparently if you called them back using the mobile phone, it will be connected directly to them (the syndicate).
14. But if you call using land line (Telekom), you will be connected to the REAL Bukit Aman.
15. So I used the landline and called the number, a male police officer answered the phone.
16. I told him my story, he confirmed that this is a scam, and said that many victims have already called them today and they are working with the multimedia commission investigating this.
17. The police officer confirmed that the syndicate is using a phone phishing technique, to make the number appearing as from Bukit Aman when they called.
18. If you called back using your mobile phone, probably there are someone from the mobile phone company working behind with them, will direct your call to the syndicate.

Sharing the above encounter with you so that you will not fall victim to this latest scam.

Donation to UNICEF Malaysia

I always believe that everyone of us could contribute to make the world a better living place.

One of the ways is via charity donations.

Years ago, when I am still suffering to make both end meets, I told myself that I will definitely contribute to the society by donating money to the charity organization upon I am financially fit.

I was approached by the UNICEF fund raising crew last two days at Kelana Jaya LRT station. After understanding that UNICEF objectives is to transform the lives of children across the nation as well as welfare services for children in rural and poor urban areas, I am more than happy to participate as a long term donors by signing up the donation package of contributing MYR228 in every 6 months.

Let's do our part to improve the lives of children and make Malaysia a better place to live for everyone..

Paying off debts before Chinese New Year 2012

Chinese New Year 2012 is just around the corner. Have you start planning to clear all your debts especially the credit cards debts before celebrating the Chinese New Year?

Overdue debts is perceived as "bad luck". Carrying forward last year debts to a new year is sort of bringing "bad luck" into the coming year.

Common debts as below:

1. Credit Card Debts
2. Mortgage Loan
3. Car Loan
4. Loan among family members
5. Personal Loan from banks
6. Personal Loan from friends or colleagues

The good news is most of the corporates or employers will be paying the annual bonus to the employees a week before Chinese New Year. Thus, it is advisable for one to list down all the debts and ensure the money is spent to clear off the debts before spending on unnecessary stuffs; worse case is to spend the money to commit for another long term debts.

Take myself as example, I have paid my mortgage loan February 2012 repayment yesterday. By next week, I will pay off the both my credit cards spending which will due on 25th and 28th January 2012.

Have you pay off your debts?

Citibank Ready Credit Account Does Not Accept Foreign Currency Cheque

I have deposited my 6th Google Adsense Pay Check into the Citibank Ready Credit Account. In about 2 weeks time after I bank-in the US Dollar Currency Pay Check via Citibank ATM, the officer called me and informed me that they have to return the check because Citibank Ready Credit Account does not accept foreign currency check.

The officer replied as below when I seek for clarification.

"We have tried to clear the cheque into your Citibank Ready Credit Account, but it just didn't work out because it is not a saving account or current account. Citibank Ready Credit Account is like another credit card account."

The check is then returned by Citibank via registered mail.

Shall I switch to Western Union payment method for Google Adsense earnings?

Work Life Balance in 2012

It has been a while since I write about work life balance.

3rd January 2012 is the first work day of the new year. Everything as usual but corporate that I worked at has targeted a 20% increase in revenue.. What does it means? It means that the employees will need to work smarter and harder to achieve the corporate ultimate goal in the new year.

I left office at 8:30pm and reached home around 9:30pm. My soul and body has already exhausted at the moment I had my dinner. 

A balance life means spending 8 hours per day equally to 3 vital elements as below:

a. Family

b. Career

c. Rest, Health & Fitness

I have turned mid 30s in 2012. It is important to live a balance life everyday. If I live everyday like 3rd January 2012, basically I will achieve my career objective, spent no time with family and causing insufficient rest and jeopardise my health and fitness.

A lousy family life and unhealthy body will ended up causing you less efficient in your career.

If you are a boss running your own company or a department, please impart the work life balance lifestyle culture among your circles. A balance life will be able to create positive working environment and promote productivity.

In short, work life balance is a win-win-win deal to the 3 aspects of life as mentioned above.