優質時間

我們家裡有三個小孩,老三出生時,我們常常叫她「小寶貝」。為了不使另外兩個人傷心, 老二就叫「中寶貝」, 老大叫「大寶貝」, 還有一個是「老寶貝」, 他們都叫我「媽咪」, 並且他們給我一個封號- 「超級大寶貝」!

四年前,當時九歲的老大對我說: 「媽咪,妳可以再和我一起做蛋糕,像小時候一樣嗎？ 說不定等勻勻長到我這麼大,你就不會太忙,就可以了吧？」

那時我聽了很難過,為他的懂事, 為他的耐心(他本是心急的孩子)而心疼。常常, 孩子們一直在等, 等哪一天父母親不忙了, 可以重溫小時候記憶中, 和父母一起的溫馨時光。

寒假中,我們花了幾個早上買齊了做蛋糕的各種材料, 終於又像他小時候一樣,你加一匙糖, 我加一杓麵粉地, 合力做了一個蛋糕,等烤好了, 他吃不多, 喜歡的只是過程。

有一個孩子,常常問父親: 「爸爸,我們什麼時候可以去釣魚？」父親說:「週末吧。」 到了週末, 孩子早早起床, 卻看到父親正要出門, 還把高爾夫球具放進了車子。

孩子一直等, 等到了傍晚, 父親回來了, 孩子說: 「爸爸,我們什麼時候可以去釣魚？」
父親說:「我加了一天班,太累了,明天再說。」
但是, 明天又明天, 這明天一直沒有來。
孩子長大了,老父親說:「什麼時候我們一起去釣魚吧？」
孩子說:「對不起,爸爸,我現在很忙, 要加班、要照管一家大小,還得去學校開家長會。」

現在世界上的觀念, 說時間的質比量重要, 就是所謂的優質時間(Quality time) , 就是不在乎和孩子在一起的時間有多少, 而在乎和他一起做什麼。 其實這是一個似是而非的理論。

道生博士(Dr. James Dobson) 舉了一個例子 (他是在美國提倡注重家庭的基督教領袖, 著有『管與教』等書, 銷售超過一百萬本。)

有一個人去吃牛排, 等了半天, 餓極了, 終於侍者端上來一塊小小的牛排。

「怎麼這麼小？」
「這是最上等的一種牛排。」
「可是我吃不飽。」

我們的孩子需要品質好的食物,但固定、足夠的三餐更重要。
我們不能整天不在家,然後給孩子十分鐘的優質時間, 就認為他會滿足了。

優質時間......
是他興沖沖放學時,你在那裡聽他說得興高采烈。
是他心情沮喪地回家時,你在那裡傾聽、安慰、鼓勵。
如果錯過了,等我們有空時,問他「今天過得如何？」
他只會說「還好!」。
寫了許多詩歌的作者Gloria Gaither 說, 父母做得最好的一件事就是「在場」。

你知道一個 孩子做錯事,最壞的結果是什麼嗎？ 就是沒有被抓到。
當我們常常在孩子生命中「缺席」時,會有什麼後果？

我們家有好幾年實行的一項「優良傳統」, 就是和孩子「單獨約會」。
每個孩子每三個月有一天是屬於他的特別日子, 和爸爸或媽媽做他選擇的事。譬如老大和爸爸去清華吃飯, 然後下盤棋; 老二和我買張月台票, 在火車站看火車, 他會不捨地說: 「再看一列自強號、一列復興號、一列莒光號就走!」
老三可能是爸爸帶去吃個冰淇淋。

雖然有三個孩子, 我們希望他們覺得自己是父母眼中«獨一的嬌兒» 。

這些是親子間的優質時間,但每天看似平淡的時光, 「量」的累積更重要。偶而的一餐牛排不能取代每日三餐。

每過一日, 孩子就像一塊磚一塊磚地被建造起來, 我們讓誰來做這樣的工作？ 當建造不好, 要拆是很痛苦的事。

有一個人發現孩子學了保母說話不誠實的毛病, 要改掉這習慣是很不容易的。 有人說, 養成一個好習慣, 須要六個月; 也有人說, 一個行為造成一個習慣, 一個習慣造成一個個性, 一個個性造成一個人生。每一日都何等重要。我們所花的時間, 構成我們的生活, 也為孩子的人生奠基。

有一位教育家說, 要一天四次擁抱你的孩子。 我儘量提醒自己,孩子說話時專心聽,也注視他們的眼睛。 常常, 就在這專注的時刻, 心中湧起對他們的愛, 就會自然地抱抱他們。

擁抱、親吻、稱讚、鼓勵,這些永遠不嫌太多。

一個孩子心中的愛槽注滿了的時候, 他只會把愛流露出去, 而不是成為一個「give me, give me 」(給我,給我)不滿的孩子。

四年級的老二上學期得了五育獎及模範生,但最讓我們欣慰的是, 老師給的評語:「謝謝韡函對 xx 同學的包容和幫助。」

前美國總統布希夫人, 在衛斯理女子學院畢業典禮上致詞: 「等妳們到了我這個年紀, 你不會因為失去一筆生意, 或少了一個客戶而後悔, 但妳若沒有花時間在丈夫、孩子身上, 妳會悔恨不已。」

有一個母親在孩子的房間,一直說: 「我還有好多話要告訴你,對不起,我一直都那麼忙。」她一直說, 一直抱歉, 最後, 孩子放下收好的皮箱說: 「媽,何必再說什麼呢,我明天就要去念大學了。」

一個孩子在我們身邊差不多有十八年, 日子很快會過去, 我們也有一天要交出成績單。

放棄作父母的責任, 就會失去作父母的權柄。

一個叫不動的孩子, 常常也是個心中沒有被愛注滿的孩子。 願我們趁還有時間花在孩子身上時, 作盡職的選擇。

给喜欢去酒吧的男女

四川有一个大学女生去参加星期六晚上的庆祝。她觉得很快乐，喝了很多酒，这时有个年轻帅哥坐在了她的前面。在男孩的百般调情挑逗下，该女生终于答应与这个帅哥去了家附近酒店，并开了个豪华包间。

房间里，该女生喝了些酒，慢慢地她开始觉得不清醒，然后就睡著了。当该女生再醒来时，发现自己全身赤裸地在浴缸中，而且浴缸里满满的都是冰。浴池旁边有张纸条，上面赫然用红字写著'打一二零，否则你会死！'她自己的手机也在纸条旁边。

她拨打了。并说明自己目前的情况。医生建议她检查自己的背部，结果她发现有两条九寸长的割伤口在背部下方！ 医生要她马上躺回满是冰的浴缸，告诉她不要动，马上会有急救队来找她。

原来，她的肾脏被偷了！那两条口，就是取出她的肾脏时留下的！在黑市里，一肾脏值 300,000元！法医判断，被害人所喝的酒中，可能不只是单纯的迷幻药，还有强力的麻醉剂，而冰也起到了镇痛效果，所以被害人暂时不会感觉到疼痛。该女生在医院里等待肾脏捐赠无果后死亡。

警察忠告大家：这是一种新的犯罪正在发生，并且以年轻女性和男生，旅游者，学生为目标。犯罪组织很有规模，并且有训练有素的人员。这种犯罪行为正发生在很多主要城市，最近尤其是在山东、广州、深圳、佛山、东莞、厦门、泉州、北京、上海、四川、重庆、全国各地酒吧！

Do’s and don’t during lightning

Lightning is one of nature’s most awe-inspiring and dangerous phenomenon. The average lightning flash could light a 100-watt light bulb for more than three months.

The temperature of a lightning bolt may reach 27,760 degree Celsius, which is hotter than the surface of the sun.

Lightning isn’t only an outdoor hazard. In houses without adequate lightning protection, it can turn bathing or showering into a dangerous undertaking.

There’s also risk of lightning shocks being transmitted via the telephone or plugged-in-electronics in houses without protection.

Such safeguards, plastic water pipes rather than metal ones, for example, are standard in newer buildings and make it safe to bathe in stormy weather.

Those living I older houses without lightning protection should unplug telephones, computers and televisions during storms, protecting them from damage in case of a lightning strike.

If that’s too much work, it’s safer to at least install special socket inserts that protects against surges. –dpa

Do’s and don’ts

Many people incur injuries or are killed due to misinformation and inappropriate behaviour during thunderstorms. A few simple precautions can reduce many of the dangers posed by lightning.

Avoid being in or near
High places and open fields, isolated trees, gazebos, open sided picnic shelters, baseball dugouts, communication towers, flagpoles, light poles, bleachers (metal or wood), metal fences, convertibles, golf carts, water (ocean, lakes, swimming pools, rivers, etc.)

When inside a building
Avoid using the telephone or computer, taking a shower, washing your hands, doing dishes, or any contact with conductive surfaces with exposure to the outside such as metal door or window frames, electrical wiring, telephone wiring, cable TV wiring, plumbing, etc.

If driving
Stay in your automobile. An enclosed automobile offers reasonable good protection from lightning, as long as you don’t touch metal.


Marco’s comment:
Many of the house owners in Malaysia and Singapore changed the water supply inlet pipe from PVC type to copper pipe due to the reason for lasting. Please pass this information to those who are going to renovate their house or redo the plumbing system of the house.

Where is our direction (Malaysian) for our next generation?

For those who started work around 1973, a 1.3 litre Japaness car was RM 7000.

Today the equivalent is…… let's say RM 60000……8.5 times.

In 1973 a double storey house was about RM 45,000 or less.

Today it is about RM 300,000…… 6.6 times

In 1973 an Engineer's pay was RM 1000.
Today it is about RM 2000……2 times.

From 1973 to 2008…… 35 years…… what is the trend?
Bearish!

In a stock market when the trend is bearish, what do we do? Exit!

When a country's trend is bearish what do we do?
This Bearish trend is more difficult to turn around as compared to thestock market.

I have used these 3 items House, Car & Salary as a measurement of the country' s performance for the past 35 years. Foreigners also ask about these 3 items to gauge our standard of living.

There is a book I saw in MPH bookshop entitled:
Malaysia: The Failed Nation

Some of you may be interested to read it. I agreed with the writer.

This morning I was having Coffee at McDonald (100 %Arabica beans at RM 2.90, free refill). I asked how much per hour is their pay?

RM 3.00 x 8 hours = RM 24 per day x 25 days = RM 600 per month

My daughter works part-time during her University days. She worked atGloria Jeans Coffee……the pay? Australian $ 14.00 per hour ( @ 3.15 = RM 44 per hour.....x 8 = RM 352 per day !!! x 25 days = RM 8800.

13.3 times more! Price of houses in Perth is about the same in KL. Price of cars are about 23 % cheaper in Perth, Australia.

I think more and more people are becoming aware of this Bearish trend.

Developed country by 2020?...... means High income country.

Let's look at some as of year 2005 from Financial Times.

USA GNP per capita US$ 35400
UK GNP per capita US$ 25510
Australia GNP per capita US$ 19530
Singapore GNP per capita US $ 20690
These are developed countries by income measurement.

Malaysia GNP per capita US$ 3540

Year 2020…… developed country?Worrying trends, isn't it?
Ringgit Malaysia sliding further and further under BN.
-Gan Jul 8, 08 4:03pm

Recently, I interviewed some fresh graduates applying for jobs with myengineering company. I accepted two applicants on a starting salary ofRM 1,600. It struck me as odd that 15 years ago, I myself started workas a fresh graduate engineer for the same pay.

Indeed, if you compare the salaries of graduates now and 15 or even 20years ago, you'll find little difference but that their purchasingpower is vastly different. It's the same story when you comparesalaries of shop assistants, office staff, factory workers and others.

To compound the effect of inflation, the Ringgit has depreciatedgreatly against all major currencies. The real income of mostMalaysians has moved backwards.

This is why many Malaysians suffer under the petrol hike. The root ofthe problem is that our real incomes have shrunk in the face ofinflation and depreciated currency. Malaysians have not been spoiledby subsidy but are unable to move out of the time lock of stagnatedand depreciated incomes.

If you compare the per capita incomes of Singapore , Hong Kong , Taiwanand South Korea , they are a few multiples of ours although atindependence all these countries were the on the same economic level as Malaysia .

What has gone wrong? We were the rising star of East Asia, a countryrich in natural resources with the most promising potential.

The reason is massive corruption, plundering of resources, wastage offunds for huge non- economic projects, anti-public interest deals withpolitically-linked companies and passing-of-the-buck to the man inthe street.

Four decades of NEP where education, economic and employment policiesare defined by race ensured that meritocracy took a back seat.

Our university standard has declined and the today best and brightestof our youths emigrate to escape the racial inequality only tocontribute to the economies of foreign lands.

The reputation of our judiciary which was held in high esteemworldwide has sunk so low that foreign investors now insist onarbitration in Singapore in case of any dispute.

We also have a slew of oppressive laws such as the ISA, OSA, Uuca andPPPA which stifle free speech and are designed to keep the rulingparties in power.

We have become less attractive to foreign investors and now lag behindour neighbours in ASEAN for foreign direct investment. Even somecorporations who have established themselves here are moving out.

All the economic and social malaise cannot help but affect the valueof our currency. The strength of a country's currency is after all, areflection of its fundamentals.

Furthermore, Bank Negara has a policy of weak Ringgit to helpexporters, never mind the burden on the common folk. The government ispro-corporation, not pro-rakyat (citizens).

While the poor and middle-class are squeezed, an elite group getsbreathtakingly rich. We have the distinction of having the worseincome disparity in ASEAN. A re-distribution of wealth is under wayfrom the poor and middle-class to a select group ofpolitically-connected elite.

The end result of this re-distribution will be a small group ofsuper-rich while the majorities are pushed into poverty and themiddle-class shrinks. This is what happens when the rich gets richerand the poor get poorer.

There is much that is wrong with Malaysia. The responsibility forpulling the country backwards can be laid squarely at the door of theruling regime. It is BN's mis-governance, racial politics and cultureof patronage which has seen the country regress economically andsocially.

We seem to be sliding down a slippery slope, further down with eachpassing year of BN's rule. Another five years of BN rule and we'll beat Indonesia’s standard under Suharto. Another 10 years and we'll betouching the African standard. What a way to greet 2020.

Is there any hope for Malaysia?

Faced with the reality that BN will never change, many Malaysiansdesperate for change turn their lonely eyes to Anwar Ibrahim.

Pakatan Rakyat has promised to treat all races fairly, to plugwastage, fight corruption, reform the judiciary and make Malaysia morecompetitive.

But some have questioned whether we can trust Anwar and his loosecoalition of disparate parties.

The question is not whether we can trust Anwar and Pakatan Rakyat butwhether we can afford not to.

Can we afford another ten years of BN's misrule?

-Anonymous

Marco's comment:

There is nothing much that middle-class Malaysians can do, my suggestios are:

1. Save as much money as possible, transfer it to Singapore, Hong Kong, London or New York's banks.

2. Acquire foreign countries shares where your money parked (refer to no.1)

3. Send your children to oversea universities, let them have a choice to make a living at other countries.

They are more and more elite Malays that moving out from Malaysia even they can enjoy bumi priviledges in this country. Why they gave up? Simply because they see no future for their next generation.

Heroes (Dedicated to the hereos in Sichuan Earthquake, 2008)

An earthquake, magnitude 8.0, struck Sichuan province of China at 2:28PM, May 12, 2008. The epicenter of the earthquake, Wenchuan, is about 90 miles from Chengdu. The earthquake released more energy than 500 atomic bombs, 30 times more than the Kobe earthquake in Japan, 1995. By May 19, there are more than 32,000 lifeless victims, more than 20,000 still missing, and more than 4.7 million houses collapsed or heavily damaged.

Cities close to the epicenter are flattened; whole mountains collapsed.

Devastation.

Millions of people lost their beloved ones, their homes, their belongings. Yet there is no looting, no complaints, just people helping each other.

Within hours, people rushed to rescue. Blood donation lines run for 100 yards, and people waited hours to donate blood; within 24 hours, all major blood banks ran out storage space. The highway to the earthquake struck city Dujianyang (20 mile from Chengdu) was almost jammed one hour after the earthquake, not by people fleeing the aftershocks, but by volunteers, led by over 1,000 taxi drivers, came from Chengdu to rescue.

Chen Guangbiao(陈光标), owner of a big construction company 1,500 miles from the disaster area, just 2 hour 30 minutes after the earthquake, started transporting 60 construction machineries and led 120 volunteers to rescue. They arrived at the disaster area 24 hours later, almost the same time as Army Engineering Corp.

Medical workers provided care under extreme conditions; they even delivered many new born babies on the parking lot.

Wen Jiabao(温家宝), 66, Chinese Prime Minister, boarded on a plane 30 minutes after the earthquake, and arrived in disaster area in 2 hours. He has been the chief of the rescue operation since then, working almost around clock at the frontline with rescue workers.

1,1000 paratroopers started boarding airplanes 2 hours after earthquake. Despite heavy rain, high wind and thick cloud, they jumped from over 20,000 foot high to remote mountain areas where they did not even know if there would be a place for them to land. The first jumped off plane was Senior Colonel Li Zhenbo(李振波), 51.


With roads buried by landslide and bad weather hammering airborne operations, a group of 600 soldiers and medical teams, lead by Major General Xia Guofu(夏国富), 57, Commander in Chief of Sichuan Military District, walked 21 hours straight on foot in mountain area, carrying heavy relief supplies, risking landslide and falling rocks. They became the first group to arrive at the epicenter of the earthquake.

Soldiers and rescue workers working around clock to rescue people still buried. Unable to transport heavy machineries to the remote areas since roads are buried by landslides, they often have to use hands to move tons of concrete.

People are rushing to donate money. Many rich people donated in millions, but no one can match Xu Chao(徐超), 60, on the right. He is a homeless in Nanjing, 1000 miles from the disaster area. He saw the news and went to donate 5 Yuan in the morning. He said people in the disaster area were worse off than him because their lives were threatened. He came back in the afternoon, donated another 100 Yuan ($14). He explained that all he had were pennies and dimes, and he didn’t want to waste volunteer workers’ time to count them, so he went to the bank to change everything he had into one big bill. This is from a man who doesn’t have money to buy food for himself.



Song Xinying (宋馨懿), 3, pulled out from rubble after being buried for 2 days. She was in critical condition and lost a leg, but survived. Her parents hold each other’s hands and shoulders face to face to make an arch to shield her from the falling building. Her parents did not make it out.

A 5 year old boy was rescued after being buried under rubbles for 24 hours. His left hand was broken, but he smiled and saluted to his rescuers. His smile made everybody cry.

Zhang Jiwang(张吉万), 11, carrying his sister Zhang Han(张韩), 3，walked 12 hours straight to flee the rescue center.

Yuan Wentin(袁文婷), 26, first grade teacher. When the earthquake struck, she rushed to carry her stunned students from classroom on the 3rd floor to the ground. She managed to pull out most of her students, but the building collapsed when she was trying to pull out the last few. At the last moment of her life, she was trying to use her body to shield the students from falling concrete.

Many teachers did the same thing. They are 谭千秋、张米亚、苟晓超、吴忠洪、杜正香......

This high school student was rescued from the collapsed building. She lost both legs, and her both hands are broken. The rescue workers were all in tears when they saw this. She smiled to them: “Be Brave!”

This baby, after being buried over 24 hours, miraculously, was rescued unscratched. He is about 3-4 months old, and his mother kneeled down, pinned her head and hands on the ground to shielded him from the falling concrete, and milked him. His mother did not make it out. A rescue worker found his mom’s cell phone in his wrapper. It had a text message left by his mother: “Dear child, if you survive, please remember, Mom loves you forever…”

-Anonymous

September 2008 Adsense Performance

September 2008 was a good month for my Adsense performance. A new record earning was achieved, but the page impressions have slipped to slightly below 1500 page impressions mark.

Month to month performance review:
Page Impressions (Sep2008 vs. August2008): -26.42%
Earnings (Sep2008 vs. August2008): +94.10%

Quarter to quarter performance review:
Page Impressions (Q3_2008 vs. Q2_2008): +62.36%
Earnings (Q3_2008 vs. Q2_2008): +7.04%