After the Date

There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to dating. What works for some may backfire for others.

Some expert advise that girls should never make the first move, but in this modern day and age, I feel that girls are allowed to initiate the next date.

Drop your date an SMS on the same day, or the day after to thank him/ her for the great time you had, and maybe suggest a meet up soon.

But if you’re not interested in the person he/ she asks you out again, always be polite. The direct approach would be to tell the person that you’d prefer to stay friends so as not to lead him/ her on.

Or, if you’re for the gentler approach, decline his/her invitation by telling him/ her you are busy or already have other engagements. Most (although sadly not all) will get the message after a few turn downs.

During the Date

Don’t go to the date only intending to have a good time, go with the desire to give your date a good time.

Be sensitive to the cues your date will give you. You can easily gauge how comfortable the person is by observing his/her body language.

Don’t try to get too close too fast. On the first date, keep the same distance you would with a normal friend. However, it’s true that each person has a different comfort zone.

If he/she steps backward, or tilts his/her body away to create a distance between you, or crosses his/her arms to create a barrier, then you know you’re too close.

To show interest without intruding, bend your body towards the person when you’re conversing. By nodding your head, and tilting it slightly you indicate your interest in the conversation.

For guys, pay the girl a compliment now and then throughout the date. If she exposes the palms of her hands facing you, or twirls her hair around her fingers, she’s probably flirting with you.

For a girl, try mirroring your date’s body language and positions (femininely of course).

For conversation topics, seek to find common ground. Hobbies, passions, travel- just be sure to steer clear of the following: politics, religious, sex, ex-boyfriends/ ex-girlfriends. Much too heady for a first date!

Be positive on your first date. No one wants to go out with someone who is always whinging, whining and complaining.

Before the Date

Alright! You’ve got the date! Now what?

Pleasant and presentable is the way to go. Dress according to the occasion. If it’s a movie date, jeans and t-shirt for guys and jeans with a nice top for girls will do.

But if you’re going to a fine-dining restaurant, you may want to dress up slightly. Guys, ironed (not crumpled) shirts, and in my opinion, a pretty sundress for the girls does the trick.

When in doubt, remember it’s usually good to be over-dressed rather than underdressed.

Guys, please remember to comb your hair, trim your nose hair, shave and if you have tendency to sweat a lot, a dash of cologne or deodorant.

For the girls, please don’t overdo the perfume. French perfumer Annick Goutal, says,”Once it goes beyond your two-foot and three-foot personal space, perhaps you put on a bit more than you want to.” Just a whiff, dears, just a whiff.

If you’re using makeup, keep it light and fresh. Guys are generally put off by the caked-up, kabuki-mask look.

And be sensible, there’s a limit to suffering for beauty. Wear something comfortable, don’t wear stilettos if you’ll trip and fall flat on your face before you date knows you well enough to catch you!

If you’re little stressed out and butterflies have taken residence in your tummy, relax. It’s good sign! It means you’re excited to meet him/her, and you’ll be on your best behaviour. Try to give yourself an hour or two before the date where you’re not tied up with work, or rushing to your date from soccer match. This will give you time to calm yourself down, relax, and look forward to the date.

Try calling up a good friend for moral support as well.