Monday, August 20, 2007

Growing Older; Growing Up


The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challengedus to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to lookaround when a gentle hand touched my shoulder.


I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at mewith a smile that lit up her entire being.


She said, 'Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?'


I laughed and enthusiastically responded, 'Of course you may!' and shegave me a giant squeeze.


'Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?' I asked.


She jokingly replied, 'I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids...'


'No seriously,' I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to betaking on this challenge at her age.


'I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!' she told me.


After class we walked to the student union building and shared achocolate milkshake.


We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we wouldleave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this 'time machine' as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.


Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easilymade friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was livingit up.


At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our footballbanquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and tepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech,she dropped her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and alittle embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, 'I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey iskilling me! I'll never get my speech back in order so et me just tellyou what I know.'


As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, '! We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing.


There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.


We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!


There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If youare nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-sevenyears old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight.


Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets.


The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather forthings we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets.'


She concluded her speech by courageously singing 'The Rose.'


She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago.


One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.


Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute tothe wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.


When you finish reading this, please send this peaceful word of adviceto your friends and family, they'll really enjoy it!


These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE.


REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.


We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by what we give.


God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage. If God brings you toit, He will bring you through it.


'Good friends are like stars.........You don't always see them, but youknow they are always there.'-Anonymous


Monday, August 13, 2007

你不必追求優秀但你可以做到良好


有一位同事美麗而又文靜,說話語速總是慢慢的,音量總是小小的,但很能說到人的心底裡去,你不知自己是什麼時候被她看穿的。


她的業績說不上驕人,但也無可挑剔;她嫁了相愛的普通人,日子過得波瀾不驚;她不要求孩子學這學那,雙休日一家三口就去遊玩;她每天都要午睡,每天都做健美操,生活很有規律;她從不嫉妒榮譽加身的同事也從不鄙薄偶犯錯誤的同事,只對勢利小人冷眼旁觀,卻也不惱,她覺得他們不會有好的心態與好的結局。


她心明如鏡絕頂聰明,與周圍一些拚盡全力卻活得七上八下不盡如意的人相比,我總覺得她的人生本來還可以更為出彩,而她沒有去做。


有一個非常難得的機會我們兩兩相對,她說起她父親的一句話奠定了她的人生,讀初中時她體質非常弱,任何體育活動都沒法參加,學習又非常爭勝好強,偶爾有一門功課得不到第一就會難過就會自責。父親說:「以你的條件,你不必追求優秀,但你可以做到良好。」


她很聽父親的話,比較輕鬆地將每門功課都保持了良好,同時她的體質也恢復到了良好的狀態,高中畢業她給自己的定位是考上一所普通大學,壓力不重反而發揮良好,她輕鬆地考上了重點大學,畢業時她選擇了中等城市的專業對口單位,她只求離父母近些,可以相互照料。


她娓娓地講述著這些,就如她不急不躁地構築她的良好人生。良好人生肯定不被小說家與劇作家看好,因為良好人生不能構成他們的創作素材, 他們更感興趣的是──事業有成而家庭破碎,金璧輝煌的陰影裡藏匿著墮落,幸福來臨卻緊隨著死神。有一項優秀就總有一項不及格。


生活何嘗不是同樣地乖戾,倘若某個人的某個單項特別地優秀,他人生的另一重要項目,缺憾往往也特別地大。或者是,正因無可彌補的缺憾,才發憤地去追求優秀。所以良好人生的境界實在已經至高。


當一個人的事業、愛情、品行、心境乃至體格都能達到良好時,誰說那人生不夠優秀?


米蘭昆德拉有一本書叫「生活在他方」,我對這五個字有很好的聯想, 我們的生活總是在遠方,都在想:如果明天我有錢,我就可以……。但是如果你現在賺少錢不快樂,就算你有再多的錢,我保證你也不會快樂。


如果你一個人的時候不會自得其樂,即使嫁了人,娶了老婆,別人跟你一起一樣不快樂。如果現在不懂得享受生活,未來也不會享受生活。


有人問什麼叫做自由?所謂的自由就是:「你想要拒絕一個人的約會,已經不需要任何理由,你有權利過自己要過的生活,有權力去自己要去的地方。」


其實生活很簡單。


男人跟女人都很喜歡在自己的人生設一個 deadline。比如說:我 25 歲一定要結婚,26 歲一定生孩子,30 歲時一定要一男一女,31 歲的時候一定要有房子……所以很多決定就很草率。如果剛開始你找的那個人就不對,往後再怎麼努力都不對有時候,我們常常會覺得婚結了,所有問題就沒了,那如果結了婚還有問題,就趕快把小孩生一生,其實你的問題在這個階段沒解決,在下個階段只會變大。


你對未來不用期待太多,期待太多……老實說挫折感會很深。不如看看你現在做什麼事情,會讓你覺得很自在,吸收到很多的東西,那個時候你才會覺得人生真的很充實。


另外,一個人如果太努力在活給別人看,就會痛苦得不得了。今天如果你相信自己做得還不錯,不在乎別人怎麼看你的時候,你真的可以很自在。


別花一輩子的時間去過生命,
而不用一天的時間去享受生活。








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